(Not) In a Vase on Monday – Remembering the gentle giant

My Chap and I are away in Cornwall this week – the beautiful coastline, countryside and gardens are replenishing my soul – along with some great fish cooked by My Chap :-).  I’ve been reflecting on what a momentous year this has been – I’ve found more inner resilience than I knew I had. I’m a stronger person than I was.

Today’s ‘In a vase on Monday’ is somewhat unconventional – the photo is nearly a year old but I hope you’ll allow me this.

It’s been a year since my friend (and former partner of 20 years) Steve died so suddenly on 30th April 2015.

I could tell you a million stories of Steve – we all have them.   Instead I’m going to tell about the significance of the flowers I chose for his funeral – they reflect his life and interests:

  • A red rose – because he was a proud Lancastrian, he loved the hills, towns and villages of this green and pleasant land
  • Cream roses – like the ones from his beloved mother’s  garden
  • Sea thistle – because he loved the sea
  • Orange blossom to represent his love of Spanish cities and many happy holidays with friends. Our last holiday was to Seville.
  • Eucalyptus – to represent a wonderful holiday to Australia to visit my brother and his family.
  • Purple heather – because he loved Scotland, hillwalking and the hills
  • Rosemary – to reflect his love of cooking – he and my Dad were always discussing recipes. He talked recipes and food with my Chap too – and we cooked together often.
  • Rosemary is for remembrance too
  • And finally lavender – he loved sitting in my garden and loved the smell of lavender.
Flowers for Steve's funeral - roses, rosemary, lavender, sea holly

Flowers for Steve’s funeral – roses, rosemary, lavender, sea holly – 15 May 2015

We read the following poem at Steve’s funeral:

Feel no guilt in laughter

Feel no guilt in laughter, he’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the ways you showed you cared.
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you. A word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling, that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely within your heart.

Author unknown

Steve was a big man with a big personality and he touched so, so many lives.

He has been taken far too soon – Rest in Peace Steve (1967-2015).

We remained friends to the end.

His sudden death affected me deeply – but I have realised how much resilence I have and am getting back to where I want to be.  I couldn’t have done this without the love and support of My Chap, my family, Steve’s family and our many friends.

Life isn’t a dress rehearsal…. so I’m off to pick tulips in the garden of the cottage we are staying in (with permission).  Part 2 of ‘In a vase on Monday’ later…

Carpe Diem

love Bec xxx

I’ve written about Steve elsewhere on my blog:

You can find more about ‘In a vase on Monday’ which is hosted by Cathy at www.ramblinginthegarden.wordpress.com.  today she is celebrating the wedding of her Younger Daughter – Cathy picked flowers from her garden for the bouquet and button holes.    She’s very talented :-).  Reading all the blogs from people around the world showing their flowers has lifted my mood this last year… thank you everyone 🙂

 

 

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10 thoughts on “(Not) In a Vase on Monday – Remembering the gentle giant

  1. Donna@Gardens Eye View

    A beautiful bouquet full of love and remembrance! Life is amazing as we move along the path with bumps and smooth patches….thanks for all your posts as you have learned and lived and grieved. I know they have meant a great deal to me.

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    1. Bec Post author

      Thank you donna – it’s been such a tough year but I have a lot of good memories with Steve. I’m so pleased my words have meant something to you. For much of the year I’ve struggled to write anything (tough when I write for a living) & that’s why I’ve been so rubbish answering blog commente

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  2. Cathy

    The fact that he touched so many lives says such a lot about him and he clearly made a huge impact on your life – and so has you Chap who is clearly so caring and supportive too. Thank you for sharing your painful thoughts and memories – and I am glad that reading other blogs has helped. There is so much genuine caring amongst our blogging community. Take care Bec

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  3. Lisa@IntoTheGlade

    A lovely post Bec, he sounds like a wonderful chap and was definitely too young. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal and your chap now sounds like a diamond, much love to you and I am sure Steve would be thrilled to think you gave your flowers so much thought xxx

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  4. Pingback: In a Vase on Monday (not) – luscious lavender and jam at Christmas  | Views from my garden bench

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