(Not) In a Vase on Monday – Remembering the gentle giant

My Chap and I are away in Cornwall this week – the beautiful coastline, countryside and gardens are replenishing my soul – along with some great fish cooked by My Chap :-).  I’ve been reflecting on what a momentous year this has been – I’ve found more inner resilience than I knew I had. I’m a stronger person than I was.

Today’s ‘In a vase on Monday’ is somewhat unconventional – the photo is nearly a year old but I hope you’ll allow me this.

It’s been a year since my friend (and former partner of 20 years) Steve died so suddenly on 30th April 2015.

I could tell you a million stories of Steve – we all have them.   Instead I’m going to tell about the significance of the flowers I chose for his funeral – they reflect his life and interests:

• A red rose – because he was a proud Lancastrian, he loved the hills, towns and villages of this green and pleasant land
• Cream roses – like the ones from his beloved mother’s  garden
• Sea thistle – because he loved the sea
• Orange blossom to represent his love of Spanish cities and many happy holidays with friends. Our last holiday was to Seville.
• Eucalyptus – to represent a wonderful holiday to Australia to visit my brother and his family.
• Purple heather – because he loved Scotland, hillwalking and the hills
• Rosemary – to reflect his love of cooking – he and my Dad were always discussing recipes. He talked recipes and food with my Chap too – and we cooked together often.
• Rosemary is for remembrance too
• And finally lavender – he loved sitting in my garden and loved the smell of lavender.

Flowers for Steve’s funeral – roses, rosemary, lavender, sea holly – 15 May 2015

We read the following poem at Steve’s funeral:

Feel no guilt in laughter

Feel no guilt in laughter, he’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the ways you showed you cared.
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you. A word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling, that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely within your heart.

Author unknown

Steve was a big man with a big personality and he touched so, so many lives.

He has been taken far too soon – Rest in Peace Steve (1967-2015).

We remained friends to the end.

His sudden death affected me deeply – but I have realised how much resilence I have and am getting back to where I want to be.  I couldn’t have done this without the love and support of My Chap, my family, Steve’s family and our many friends.

Life isn’t a dress rehearsal…. so I’m off to pick tulips in the garden of the cottage we are staying in (with permission).  Part 2 of ‘In a vase on Monday’ later…

Carpe Diem

love Bec xxx

I’ve written about Steve elsewhere on my blog:

• Lilac, pincushions, tulips and recycled glass – In a Vase on Monday
• Wordless Wednesday – Rest in peace gentle giant
• Wordless Wednesday (not) – glorious birthday memories
• In a Vase on Monday – Love and rosemary for remembrance

You can find more about ‘In a vase on Monday’ which is hosted by Cathy at www.ramblinginthegarden.wordpress.com.  today she is celebrating the wedding of her Younger Daughter – Cathy picked flowers from her garden for the bouquet and button holes.    She’s very talented :-).  Reading all the blogs from people around the world showing their flowers has lifted my mood this last year… thank you everyone 🙂

 

 

In a vase on Monday – daffodils and dreams

You normally have to be bashed about a bit by life to see the point of daffodils, sunsets and uneventful nice days.
Alain De Botton – Philosopher

It’s been an eventful few weeks – all the changes at work are becoming very real now, and all the legal issues around my friend’s death are nearly done.   I’m recovering well mentally and physically, though there’s a while to go yet – I know I’ll get to where I want to be – and can regain my inner and outer calm soon 🙂

I’ve always loved Daffodils.   I lived in flats for many years and often had vases of daffs around the house.
Once I got a garden (with a house) they were the first things I planted – there are many species around by garden.  My tête a têtes are always the first to flower (in late January this year!) and when they do – I know Spring is on its way.   There’s a great show from my crocuses and irises so maybe they’ll be in the vase next week.

I’ve also got some wall flowers still flowering from last summer (in a very sheltered part of my garden) – so I wanted to showcase them too.

In a Vase on Monday – tête a tête daffodils, wallflowers, helichrysum, curry plant and rosemary – 29 February 2016

I picked dark green rosemary and silver grey curry plant because, I liked the contrast of colours and textures.  I thought they all went well with the blooms and Vase.

Herbs and spices are a huge part of our cooking. We’ve got 10 different kinds of mint in pots so it doesn’t spread around the garden.    My chap has been taking care of me by cooking great food – it’s one of the ways he shows his love for me (and others).  I wrote about him and all the other ‘chefs’ in my life in December.

• In a Vase on Monday – Love and rosemary for remembrance – 31 December 2015

The helichrysum had very small yellow flowers, and it was only it seems appropriate, that it is used in  ‘Everlasting’ and ‘Immortal’ Essential Oils.

The Vase is actually a recycled glass tealight holder which I bought at The Eden Project in 2014.  It’s made an appearance before:

• In a Vase on Monday -Lilac and tulips with recycled glass – 19 May 2015

My Chap and I have been making plans – we’ve booked a holiday to Cornwall in May.  I’m sure we’ll be visiting The Eden Project again, Heligan, Caerhays and some of the other great gardens of Cornwall – we didn’t get to Lanhydrock last year but will go there definitely.   I think we’ll be spending alot of time by the sea too.

I’m hoping I can get some more garden ornaments on our trip.  I’ve got quite a few rusty iron flowers and other decorations around the garden.  I really must write about them in a blog – as they’re carefully chosen, with memories and love associated with each one.

In a Vase on Monday – 29 February 2016

Cathy at Rambling in the Garden has a wonderful vase this week in a Japanese style and has written about weddings and promises.   Do have a look at everyone’s vases from around the world and join in if you can.   These vases and all the blog writers lift my mood and inspire my planting 🙂 Thank you so much everyone – I’m trying to comment more in 2016.

tête a tête daffodils, helichrysum,  and a new variety of Daffodils 😉 – 29 February 2016

Today I am thinking of promises made both long ago, and more recently but most of all – promises for the future.   I’ve only ever tried to do my best – I hope I have.

It seems appropriate to dream on the ‘extra’ day we have this year.  My ideas about what to do this year are coming together – which is helping me feel more content, but it’s scary at the same time.   I just know I need to be brave – and take the first step.  I know I need to believe in myself and ‘seize the day’.

As ever,  My Chap is always holding my hand (sometimes metaphorically) through all of life’s adventures on the ‘nice, uneventful days’ as well as the most challenging days.   I would have been in a real pickle if he hadn’t been here in 2015.

I am dreaming of the sunsets by the sea in Cornwall.  I hope things will be clearer by then… and I’ll be feeling less ‘bashed about by life’.

Have a lovely week – what have you done with your extra day?

Carpe Diem

love
Bec xxx

In a Vase on Monday – Love and rosemary for remembrance

In a Vase on Monday – rosemary, curry plant, lemon mint and pelargoniums – 30 December 2015

I want to tell you the pleasure, the sheer unbridled joy, of cooking without a recipe… In Truth good eating depends on nothing more than fine ingredients simply cooked. Nigel Slater Appetite (2000)

I’ve loved four men in my life; they all adore cooking, and believe that providing wonderful food is a way of expressing their love for the people they care about. They are my Dad J, my brother M who lives in Australia, my friend (and former partner of 20 years) Steve who died so suddenly in April and, of course, my wonderful Chap.
None of them followed recipes to the letter; unless it’s baking – that’s chemistry.

So I decided to celebrate their love of cooking in my vase today.